My assimilated parents didn’t teach me about Av, the destruction of the temples and diaspora, or even that we were Jewish. We were in exile from our ancestry and didn’t know it. When I was 12, an antisemitic classmate living down the street rained his fists and the curse, “You killed Christ” on me; that’s how I first learned I was a Jew.
Years later, as an adult, I set that trauma aside to step from exile into my Jewish identity. I layered learning and reflection over irritants of shame and pain, growing the pearl of my Jewish self. I was gaining wisdom by reflecting on and reframing my life experiences, a key practice in Wilderness Torah’s new program for its oldest participants: Older To Elder. In this program, I also learned I wasn’t the only one healing ancestral traumas and strengthening tenuous connections to Jewish identity.
Older to Elder also taught me the path to elderhood includes practicing ancestor connection. At our first retreat we created an ancestor altar, a low table on which we placed family heirlooms and photographs. I brought a soup spoon inherited from my great grandmother, Feiga Gladstein. Engraved on it are her initials, Cyrillic letters for F and G. She lived in Chita, in Siberian Russia, before emigrating to the United States in 1907. I feel closer to her even now.
Nature connection is also a core Older to Elder value, one I first encountered as a healing Jewish practice 16 years ago in my first Wilderness Torah experience. At our retreat we spoke prayers into pieces of driftwood and in a Tashlich-like practice threw them into the ocean. I cast “resistance to accepting my aging body and mind” and “resistance to accepting I’ve done enough in this life” into the sea.
Thanks to Older to Elder, at 72 I continue learning and growing into my Jewish self. For the second-year cohorts I co-designed and facilitated nature connection programming. This year and next, I’ll continue that work for the third round of Older to Elder.
About the Author:
Tom Levy began his communications career as an award-winning photographer at newspapers, including the San Francisco Chronicle. He later worked as a writer, photographer and videographer for nonprofits. He’s also volunteered at food banks and for a telephone crisis hotline. His adult journey into Judaism includes serving on many Wilderness Torah festival councils, completing Rabbi Mike Comins’ TorahTrek Guides Track program and being a member of congregation Chochmat HaLev. He enjoys hiking, cycling, working out at the gym and writing poetry. He has been married to Yasmin for three decades. Their son, Leeam, an alum of Wilderness Torah’s youth programs B’Hootz, B’naiture and Neshama Quest, recently graduated from the University of Southern California.
